It’s late and once again, I should be in bed, or even better, asleep. This might seem slightly strange, but I seem to do much better overall when I’ve had sleep.
My mind is too restless at the moment though to even think about quieting down….I can’t settle, I can’t figure myself out. So, here I go on another random, abstract, too long blog post about everything and nothing in my life. Oh yay.
I love where I am in life right now. But it still doesn’t kill the emotions of wishing people from yesterday were still a part of my life. I miss it, but at the same time, living in the past causes you to miss the best parts of today. Sure, yeah, I’m somewhat sad thinking about how A LOT of things turned out, but I am NOT going back to who and what I was previously. And that’s that.
I’ve found recently that my heart can be exceedingly distracting at times, it’s hard to hear, or feel, or even focus for two seconds straight. *sigh*
I’m having a very hard trusting myself for the decisions I need to make/ directions I need to go. Well, if I really think about it, I should be trusting God to reveal the correct choice for the decisions and directions…. but it’s so easy to forget sometimes. I like being self sufficient FAR too much.
Sometimes I wonder if I’m too comfortable in life…. that I’m not getting ’stretched’ enough, or I don’t throw myself ‘out there’ as often as I should. I don’t want to be “ordinary”, or living in half the capacity I could be. I want to be set apart, with a purpose.
It’s August, and it barely feels like the year has even really started…. this month is going to be long for me, I can tell. This month is going to be different than what I originally had thought, I can tell. It’s going to change me. And I’m looking forward to it, regardless of what it brings.
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